If you’re wondering “How to Romance Your Wife“, there’s probably already been some conflict in your relationship. Maybe your wife says you’re not romantic enough, or complains that you’re not spontaneous. Let’s face it — not many husbands are interested in how to romance their wives until after their wives suggest they figure it out.
Romance comes so naturally to women — they write a note and put it in your briefcase so you find it at work, or prepare your breakfast just the way you like it. They seem to have a sixth sense for this romantic stuff. There’s nothing wrong with seeking a little outside help to amp up the romance in your marriage.
Let’s start out by defining this elusive relationship force we call “romance”.
What is Romance?
It’s really easy to see why most husbands have the wrong idea about romance. Television and movies have popularized a certain kind of “romance” — boxes of chocolate, flowers, or standing outside a woman’s window playing an acoustic rendition of some metal ballad seem to be the way to get romantic. If not this, then sex is advertised as the romantic cure-all — and that’s sex featuring all manner of lingerie, sex toys, and suggestive foods. The very definition of the word romance — love between two people — tells us that there are more important aspects of romance than flowers or a Hallmark card under the pillow.
Romance is love, after all. It can be a noun, as in “their romance lasted ten years”, or it can be a verb, as when you say “He romanced me”. No matter what way you look at it, romance is the action and the statement of love between you and your wife. You don’t have to make cliche romantic gestures to “be romantic”.
Romance can be a knowing grin between you and your wife at a dinner party or a routine of watching a trashy television show after a hard day’s work. Romance is in the little things as well as the grand — pouring your wife a cup of coffee every morning or the way your wife lets you take up a little more of the bed every night. Romance should not be defined . . . there is no concrete definition of the love between two people.
Why is Romance Important
Romance is important in a marriage because the good feelings it produces replace those “tingly” feelings present in the early phase of a relationship that fade away over time. Romance is a mature version of puppy love — it is ecstatic without being unpredictable. Romance is often called the “spark” that ignites a relationship, and while that metaphor is a cliche it certainly makes for a good analogy. Romance is often required for good sex to take place especially after a couple has been together for some time.
If everyone felt the way we did at the beginning of a relationship all the time, we wouldn’t need little acts of romance to sustain that little “spark”. Romance in the form of attentive and satisfactory lovemaking is just one aspect of marriage romance — there are the every day romantic moments that keep us going when our job sucks, or the grand gestures of romance like buying someone an expensive gift or exotic vacation.
If you understand what romance is, you’re ready to start planning how to romance your wife. Romance is the right combination of everyday sweetness and occasional splurging — and you have to admit, most of us men aren’t good at creating our own romance. Here’s some tips.
Romantic Ideas for Husbands
What kind of romantic experience does your relationship need? There are romantic acts of different size, depending on what sort of romantic you’re looking to become.
If you’ve just committed some kind of faux pas or told your wife that her sister is fat, you can start with one of these mildly romantic gestures.
- Buy flowers. Yes it is a cliche, but if you only made a minor bonehead move, some fresh flowers and an apology are just the thing.
- Cook dinner. Okay, so cooking dinner for your wife seems Sophomoric — get over it. You probably depend on your wife more than you think to do the cooking, and dinner combined with an apology will save the day.
- Clean something. Depending how big you screwed up you should do anything from vacuuming a floor on up to dusting all the furniture and folding the laundry. Pick your poison.
Looking for a grand romantic gesture to really make your wife happy?
- Take dancing lessons with her. This is something of a commitment, and will show your wife you want to have fun with her and be by her side for hours.
- Go on a long cruise. You could both use a vacation. A cruise is a chance for weeks of romance just for the two of you.
- Re-create your wedding. Surprise your wife by having the same music, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and some of the same foods you had on your wedding night. Say your vows again together.
If you’re wondering about a few little things you could do during a normal week to make your married life more romantic, you can try one of these.
- Ask your wife how her day was, every day.
- Do chores together. If you see your wife washing dishes, step next to her and offer to dry. She’ll appreciate the help, and it will get the two of you standing close together.
- Surprise her with a picnic lunch. If your work days are too busy, do this on a weekend. Just make sure her afternoon is clear first.
Romance isn’t just gifts and surprises, although those are part of it. Romance is so important to a marriage, it is difficult to imagine a successful coupling without it.
When you wait until an important date like a birthday or anniversary to be romantic, it will make those efforts seem weak and orchestrated. Adding a little romance to your marriage for everyday things (and for everyday reasons) means that your wife will appreciate your romantic side, and don’t forget about all the brownie points you’ll earn.
Put the romance back in your marriage and you and your wife will reap the benefits of a happy marriage.